It sounds to me like you are defining yourself by your career. Maybe you need a new definition of what your life is? Find a way to spend time outside of work that brings meaning to your life. Maybe buy private health insurance and spend a year just exploring what there is in this world outside of the software industry.

Also, it is OK to be lost - we all have general directions we are headed, but life will throw changes at you and we need to roll with the punches. Becoming comfortable with your life plan being imperfect is a wise move.