You'll still have to do a lot of re-writing but https://www.dotcloud.com/ might be your best bet.

I'll give you a Shopify account for $15 a month if you want it.

Might want to try out Heroku's Cedar Stack. It's been great so far.

Heroku currently supports Python, or is that something that is in the works? I can't find much on this...

I think it's still in the works. They don't mention it, but Heroku Cedar will happily reads and install requirements as defined in requirements.txt when you push to it. Server setup is just a simple Procfile calling whatever Python web server you want to use.

There's information how to run Pyramid on Heroku: https://docs.pylonsproject.org/projects/pyramid_cookbook/dev...

I don't think it would be much cheaper.

ep.io is gaining ground with Django developers but it also runs other WSGI apps. I don't have personal experience with their pricing but the stack and services is starting to look pretty good at the moment. Heroku Cedar Stack and DotCloud might be other options.